The Reason
by CastleFreak1
Summary: A/U Kate and Rick met five years ago and Kate suddenly disappeared, now they met again. Nonne of the charecters are mine
1. Chapter 1

Hey I already load up this story but removed it, because there were a few mistakes and I hope this one is better.

I hope you enjoy it

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Kate was wandering through the book shop in hope to find the newest Richard Castle novel.

_Richard Castle_she knew him. Not the _Richard Castle the novelist._No! She knew The Real Richard Rogers. It took her some time to figure out who he was. After her reading a few of his novels she knew exactly who she was dealing. His name was not _Richard Edgar Castle_ well it might be now but back then when she knew him his real name was _Richard Alexander Rogers._Her boyfriend she had left in college. He was the one she fell in love all those years ago and couldn't let go.

Kate hadn't seen him since over five years. She still... she loved him and she could never forget about him. She tried for two years. Then suddenly she found out it would never change. There was a certain reason. That reason was the best thing that could have ever happened to her.

She was ripped out of her thoughts by a hard chest bumping against her. She didn't look up before she heard a rough voice apologize. That voice she knew it. It sounded so familiar yet deeper than she remembered. She knew definitely it is his voice.

She looked up then gazed into his bluer than blue eyes. It was him. _It was him._How could it be him? What was he doing there? Why did she have to run into _him?_

"Kate?" his voice was a full of surprise and shock. He remembered her of course he always would. Why did he have to remember?

"Hi, Rick" she joked looking into his eyes.

"Hey" he replied with a smile building on his face. "You look great. You haven't aged at all over these years."

"Thank you, you don't look so bad yourself." She said unsure at what she expecting.

"How long has it been Kate? Five years?" he asked.

Kate looked down at her shoes. She did not ever want to hurt him.

"Where were you all the time? You were just gone." He said his voice broken and sad.

"I had to go, Rick. By the way I have to go now too so good bye. Rick nice seeing you." She said ready to turn around and run then he grabbed her elbow.

"Kate, wait." Rick said desperately.

"What?" she desperately wanted to go.

"Can you give me your number at least?" He asked as he wasn't ready to let her go yet again.

"Why?" she asked being annoyed and wanted to get home.

"I am not ready to let you slip away again. I mean…we have just met for the first time after five years. I didn't even know why you left and where you went. Kate, I want to know why? Please don't disappear again like that. Please do not do that to me again. I need to talk to you. I need to know." He said as he had his hand grasping lightly her arm just hold her in place.

"Fine" she groaned then took out a piece of paper. She searched around for a pen but Rick noticing produced one he would always carry to sign books and other things.

"Oh, Thank you Rick." Kate said.

She quickly jotted down her number.

"Here it is but Please don't call 'til it's at least 11 am okay?" Kate pleaded with him with her eyes.

"Okay, thank you Kate." He replied then let her go. "I'll call you."

She turned around and left. He looked to watch her leave. She was just the same perfect self she was five years ago.

/

When Kate opened her front door she almost crushed by a little girl running straight into her.

Kate bent down then hugged the little smiling girl. She was about five years old and had long brown curly hair.

"Hey honey, how was your day?" Kate asked.

"It was great mommy..." She replied.

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I hope you liked it and that this time it's better

Let me know what you think


	2. Chapter 2

I know I know it's been long since I wrote somthing and I should update my other story too, but...

eiter I didn't have the time to write or I didn't know what to write

I am sorry

Follow me on twitter _Castleforever_

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Kate was woken by something jumping on her bed. When she opened her eyes she saw her daughter jumping happily in front of her.

"Good morning sweetie, what are you doing here?" she sat up and pulled her down into her lap.

"You said we would go to the zoo today, Mommy. Did you forget again?" Phoebe's face suddenly turned sad.

"No, sweetie I didn't forget. How I could forget something that involves you?" Kate reassured her then kissed her daughter on the cheek.

"Yay, is Grammy coming too?" she asked as her Daughter looked at her hopefully.

"Maybe if you call her honey, I am sure she will say yes if you ask her." She smiled at the five year old girl and put her daughter on her hip while taking her into the kitchen.

She sat her down on one of the bar stools and went over to the other side of the counter.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Kate asked looking in the refrigerator.

"Pancakes!" her daughter sprung up almost down from her chair.

"Okay, pancakes for the young lady, it is." She went to get a pan and some ingredients. She placed a pan with a bit of oil on the burner then mixed up the batter and made pancakes.

Kate hummed as she continued looking at her Daughter. She gave her Daughter the mixing spoon.

"That was yummy Mommy." Phoebe said licking the spoon.

She reminded Kate of another time when someone else was licking the spoon. The similarities were striking. Kate retrieved the spoon from her Daughter then got out the ice cream scoop. Kate remembered who taught her this trick.

Phoebe watched every move her mother was doing. She loved it during these rare occasions when her Mom was home and she didn't have to stay with her Grandparents. Of course she enjoyed the time with her Grams and her Grandpa but she wanted her Mommy too.

When they finished breakfast little Phoebe called her Grandma.

"Hi Grammy…Are you able to come to the Zoo?" Phoebe asked.

The voice on the other line responded.

"Hey Kiddo, the Zoo I would be delighted." her Grammy responded.

"Yay!" Phoebe said then handed the phone to Kate.

Kate made arrangements to meet her at the Zoo then she hung up.

Johanna of course said yes. She loved spending time with her Granddaughter and Daughter Kate thought it was a forgone conclusion.

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While Kate's Daughter was running from exhibit to exhibit full of joy Kate was walking next to her Mother.

"Katie, what's up? You've been so quiet all day." Johanna knew something was wrong with her Daughter. She was very observant of her Daughter and knew her too well to not notice it.

"It's nothing." Kate replied trying avoiding the questioning look.

"It's not nothing, Kate. I know something is wrong so why don't you just tell me?" Johanna stopped her daughter knowing exactly what she was doing.

"I met him." Kate said with downcast eyes.

"Who…?" Johanna asked with much anticipation.

"Rick." Kate said with a finality about the word.

"Rick as in your boyfriend at College? Rick as in Phoebes father?" Johanna stands there with her jaw almost touching the ground.

"Yes, Rick as in Phoebes father, who I left when I found out I was pregnant and doesn't know he has a Daughter." Kate answered.

"Uhmm...Ahh...okay…What did you say to him?" Johanna asked using her skills as a litigator.

"Not much Mother I wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. But he kept asking me for my number. He wanted to talk about everything. Why I left? Why I didn't call? I mean everything! I don't know why but at the end I gave him my number. Maybe I want to talk about it too? I mean he does deserve to know he has a Daughter right? Or maybe it's better if he didn't know? He probably won't even want to know about her or see her." Kate rambled.

She was so confused that she didn't know what she was actually saying.

"Kate, calm down you are rambling." Johanna said putting her hands on Kate's shoulders. "First of all I think it's good you gave Rick your number. You have much to discuss as normal adults. Yes, he deserves to know he has a Daughter. I don't know Rick as well as you do. I do know about him and what you've told me he would be very loving toward her. He would never refuse to see her or want to be a Father to her. Of course he will be angry at you for not telling him. This is a big omission on your part. Kate, you have to face him. You need to tell him that he is the Father of your Five years old Daughter. He would never place what he felt toward you on her. He would do everything for his Daughter." Johanna pointed out.

"But what do I say when he calls? How am I supposed to tell him? Straight flat out that he has a Daughter with no preparation? I don't know what I should do now." Kate said worriedly.

"I suggest you answer those questions when he calls you. You can say you want to meet with him then try to explain everything at that point. Okay? There is no use worrying until that call is made. Darling Daughter rest assured what you have told me he will call." Johanna spoke trying to calm her Daughter down.

"You think that is going to work?" she asked her Mother.

"I am sure you will figure out what to do once it happens." Johanna said.

With those words the conversation was over and they continued their happy excursion through the zoo. There was three generations all enjoy spending time together.

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I hope you liked the chapter :D

please review :D

thank you

coco


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey so after the long wait a new chapter I hope you like it **

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When Rick woke up that morning, he couldn't stop thinking about Kate. He hadn't seen her in over five years. Now it was just yesterday when she just appeared standing in front of him. She looked even better than she did when they were still together. He still didn't know why she left or where she went. He was broken at that time. He thought he did something wrong or it was his fault that she left. He had made a lot of mistakes in that time immediately after she left. He got drunk at bars and went home with girls at least once a week.

They have been together for two whole years. They admitted that they were in love with each other. He was planning a proposal. He already had a ring. Well, he still does. One the day he planned to propose she left. She just left behind only a scrambled note on a sheet of paper. It was shoved under his door.

It said, "I can't do this anymore. I need to go. I love you, Kate".

That note was the last thing he ever heard of her 'til yesterday.

He got up then entered the kitchen. He turned on the coffee machine. He got out the ingredients to make a smorlette.

He heard the front door click open. Looking over at the door he saw his Mother enter doing her walk of shame.

"Good morning Mother." He called as she walked into the kitchen.

He walked over to her then gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Gotten late last night, huh?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yeah… well kinda…." She answered as she turned away to walk up the stairs.

"I am going to get a few hours of sleep." She announced.

Rick watched his Mother ascend the stairs then disappear from view. His Mother was left in a bind a few months ago. Her husband had disappeared with all her money. Rick was offered her a place to stay. So she moved in with him. Normally a man would not be caught dead living with his Mother but Rick Castle was no ordinary man. He did not think twice about the stigma.

Rick needed to write. He was nearing a deadline. If he was not ready with the next chapter his publisher is going to be _really_upset. He certainly didn't want that to happen. He sat down to eat after preparing the smorlette. While he ate his mind drifted off to recall yesterday afternoon. It was when he bumped into Kate. She was beautiful like she had always been. She hadn't change at all and once he recognized her he thought he had seen a ghost.

He had loved Kate Beckett from the bottom of his heart. He was sure she loved him too. They had an amazing time together. They have been together for almost a year. He already had a ring in his night stand. It was there ready for him to propose to her on the day she left. Without a word she just disappeared.

He thought about what would have happened if she didn't go. What if he had proposed? What would have been her answer? What would they have now? Maybe they would be married and had a little house with their children running around in the garden? Possibly they would be a perfect little family? They would have had everything... if she hadn't disappeared.

When he thought about it he realized he had never stopped loving her. She had hurt him. True he was angry that she left without a word but he couldn't stop thinking about her let alone stop loving her.

He wanted to know. Why had she left? Why she didn't say at least a good bye? He needed answers. So he decided he would call her later after he had some chapters done.

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It was nine PM when Kate, Phoebe and Johanna were done with clean up and were relaxing before Kate needed to put her Daughter to bed. Phoebe was playing on the floor with her toys aka her Mom's phone. Johanna and her Daughter sat on the couch talking about how Kate could tell Rick that they had a daughter.

Phoebe saw a number come up on her mom's phone and just hit the green button. She thought it was part of the game she was playing.

Kate and her Mom continued to talk so neither noticed that her Daughter had picked up the phone.

"When did he say he would call?" Johanna asked her daughter.

"He said he would call today. It seems like he already forgot about it. At least I hope so. I have no idea how to face him or how to tell him." Kate said.

She was desperate and didn't know what she could tell him or how.

"You should have thought about it before you decided not to tell him when you found out. We told you at that time you should have told him and not just go. We said to you he had a right back then and he still has that right. You need to tell him even if he won't call you. You should never forget he is the Father of your Daughter. He has the right to know everything. I still don't know why but at least you should tell him why." Johanna stated.

"You want to know why? Because I was afraid he would hate me that he would want me to have an abortion or that he would leave me." The tears streamed down her cheeks and Johanna pulled her into her arms.

"So you left him? What kind of sense makes that?" she said with a sad smile.

"I don't know it just seemed right at the time. I loved the baby already too much to have an abortion. I loved Rick, I still do actually but I couldn't risk losing both of them. Boys come and go but babies don't. So I thought why should I let my baby go when he would leave me anyway? I know it makes no sense now but it felt right when I thought it. It was hard leaving him but it would have been harder leaving my baby." She sobbed into her mother shoulder.

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After two rings someone picked up the phone. "Hello?" no one replied he only heard two voices talking in the background plus a few unusual sounds in the foreground.

"When did he say he would call?" he knew the voice it seemed familiar to him.

"He said he would call today, but it seems like he already forgot about it, at least I hope so. I have no idea how to face him, how to tell him." He figured out whose voice was talking now. It was Kate's.

Rick listened intently to the background voices. He recognized Kate and her Mother. As he listened he heard the real reason why Kate abandoned him. He had a Daughter. She was afraid he would not want her. So much that she feared he would have made her have an abortion. Kate truly wanted this child so she ran. Rick being dumbfounded ended the call. There was much he needed to discuss. Her being pregnant was never in his mind for the reason she left.

His mind was now filled with many new questions. How could she do this? What did I say to make her doubt I wanted become a father? I loved her. Why didn't she tell me she was pregnant instead of leaving me? We would have worked it out together. We would have been a family, married, maybe even another child by now. He was shocked and had no idea what to do now.

He got a bottle of scotch then a glass. He emptied the bottle then he fell asleep while crying. He wished he could turn back time. He hoped she would have a good explanation.

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Kate heard her phone making a noise. She just now noticed that her daughter has her phone. She took the phone from her daughter softly then looked at the display. It showed that someone called a few minutes ago and a call length. She looked at her daughter

"Honey, did you hit any buttons on my phone?" She asked.

Her daughter looked up at her with wet eyes.

"Did I do something wrong mommy?" the little one asked.

"No, it's okay you didn't do anything wrong." She pulled her daughter into a hug. Kate looked at her mother with worried eyes.

"What is it?" Johanna asked confused.

"I think Rick just called and Phoebe picked it up. I think he heard us. Oh g-d. What if he heard us? What if he heard you saying Phoebe was his daughter? Oh g-d he is going to flip out. I need to call him tomorrow. If he really heard us I have a HUGE problem." Kate said worriedly.

Worry was written all over Kate's and Johanna's faces. She needed to call him ASAP. It was way too late tonight. Then first thing in the morning she had to find out if he heard them. Only then would she plan on what to do next.

**Thoughts...? **

**Please Review it helps me writing and I am really sad when I don't get reviews... so if you want to have a next chapter REVIEW**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here is the next chapter I hope you like it **

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The next day, Kate was woken by her alarm. She had to get to work and drop Phoebe off at the kindergarten.

She got up, went to take a quick shower and woke up the 5 years old. "Good morning sweetie, time to get up." She patted her lightly on her cheek and put a kiss right there.

"I don't want to get up, mommy. I wanna stay in bed." Phoebe turned around and pulled the duvet over her head to hide herself from her mom.

"I have to get to work and you have to go to kindergarten, so get up honey." She pulled the blanket down a bit, trying not to be too hard, considering the fact that it was Monday and everyone hates to get up on Mondays.

"Nooo." Phoebe protested, sticking her head under her pillow.

"Phoebe Alexandra Beckett, get up, NOW!" Kate said in a harsher louder tone.

Grunting Phoebe got up and dressed, while Kate went to make breakfast for both of them. Ten minutes later they were both sitting at the kitchen table eating there toasts.

"Honey I am so sorry but grandma is going to pick you up today, I have to go to talk to someone and it's important but I will be home as soon as I can, okay?" Phoebes face fell immediately as her mom told her she wouldn't pick her up.

"Why is work always more important than me?" Phoebe had tears in her eyes and was angry.

"Honey, you are always more important than work. I love you so much and you will always be number one on my list, ok?" Kate pulled her daughter into her lap, putting a kiss on her head.

"Then why can't you come and pick me up yourself? You promised that you would get me today and that we would spend the day together."

"Honey I am so, so sorry, but what I have to do today is very important, as much as for me it is for you, okay? I think when I come home I have to explain you something." Kate looked into that deep blue eyes, who reminded her so much of Phoebe's father.

"What do you have to tell me? Did I do anything wrong? Are you sick, you are not sick are you? Please don't be sick." Again Phoebe's eyes were filled with tears.

"No honey, I am not sick and you didn't do anything wrong. Actually it's about something I did wrong a few years ago." Kate tried to smile, but failed. She had to tell her daughter that she had a father and that she ran away from him, even though she didn't know how he would react to the fact that she was pregnant. She had to deal with the fact that her daughter would probably hate her for keeping her father away from her. She had to deal with it, that probably her daughter wouldn't want to continue living with her, instead wanted to live with her father.

"Is it bad? What you did, I mean?"

"Well it was not nice and maybe after I tell you, you will never forgive me and hate me, but I thought it was the right decision to make back than and I really regret it now, that I did it." Now also Kate was close to crying. "I am going to tell you everything later honey, but now we have to go, or we both will be late." She put her daughter down and went to the front door to get on her shoes and coat, as did her daughter.

Later at her office Kate thought about either, if she would send Rick a message or call him. She went for sending him a message; she wasn't able to hear his voice and couldn't stand him yelling at her over the phone. But before she even began to type her phone vibrated.

**I think you have to explain something. Meet me at the coffee shop across the book shop at lunch time, Rick**

She looked at her screen, shocked, now she knew for sure, that he heard them yesterday and that he knows now, that she kept his daughter from him for 5 whole years; left even though she was pregnant with his baby.

**I'll be there, Kate**

Kate put her phone back into her pocket and continued studying her latest case file.

She waited a few minutes in front of the shop, starring through the window. He was sitting there, with his brown, perfect styled hair, his beautiful eyes, his black coat. He looked so... like him. Like the man she loved, the father of her beautiful daughter, who she left because she was afraid he would want her to abort the baby. The loving, caring man who couldn't hurt a fly, and she was afraid he would leave her if she had the baby? What kind of human would think that of him? Everybody knows he is a family man, who love kids and wants to be a dad. What the hell was going on in her mind that she didn't see it? That she was afraid of him dumping her because of a baby, because he would become a father.

After Kate took all her nerves together she finally opened the door and went to the booth where Castle was sitting.

"Hey" she said, sitting down in front of him.

"Hi." He said coldly. "So I believe you have to explain something to me don't you?" he was angry, Kate knew it, he had every right to be. (She kept his daughter from him for five years.)

"Rick-"her face was full of pain, full of sorry. "I-" she tried again but trailed of. Not able to get her voice to say something.

"You know what I don't get? What did I do that I not deserve to know about my daughter? What did I do to you? Did I hurt you or did I say something wrong? Why didn't you tell me, Kate?"

"Rick, I am sorry. I was scared, I didn't know what to do and... and-"

"She is my daughter, Kate. _MY daughter_ , my own flesh and blood, how could you do this? Did you ever think about how I would feel about that? About having a daughter? Why the hell did you run away?" He was angry but hurt, he would have loved to have a family with her.

"Rick" tears streamed down her cheeks "I am so sorry, so sorry. I was scared you wouldn't want the baby. That you would hate me because I was so careless, that I became pregnant. I thought you would leave me, tell me you wouldn't want a baby because we were too young, that you couldn't take care of a, little, annoying, pooping baby." She didn't know what to say anymore, she was stupid, young and didn't know what she was doing. She felt so sorry for hurting him, for taking his daughter from him. God, she took her daughter's father from her.

The world was spinning in his eyes, tears streaming down his face. How could she think of him like that? How could that even come into her mind like that? What did he do that made her think of him like that? He didn't know what to say anymore. He was taken back by what she just told him. That she didn't trust him, that she thought of him like a monster who wouldn't love his baby

"What did I do that you think of me like a monster? Did I ever say I didn't want a baby, that I would leave you if you were pregnant? What make you think that?" He usually doesn't cry, but the thought that he made her think he was a monster hurt him so much that he couldn't stop the tears from running down his cheeks. He made the woman ,he loved so much, thinking he was a cold heart monster who wouldn't love his baby.

"You didn't do anything, you were perfect Rick. I don't know why I even thought that. You would have been an awesome father and I am so, so, so sorry that I ran away and took your baby from you. I am sorry, Rick." That were the last words she said to him that day. She ran out the door, the tears blocking her view, she ran on the street.

She only heard a loud "Quieck" and Rick yelled her name until she felt the cold, wet car hitting her left side. In the space of two seconds she was lying on the street, unconscious.

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**Tell me what you think, please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am still alive... kinda **

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She was quickly into the hospital, her eyes were open, she seemed so dead. Her face was frozen and she didn't mention her environment.

There were noises, lots of noises, he didn't know what to do anymore, the only thing he knew: The love of his life was hit by a car and was carried swiftly to a surgery. Everything around him seemed blurred. He felt restless, he didn't have a clue what to do or where to go. He was swamped with the situation. What the hell did just happen?

He only stood there spinning around, not knowing what to do, until a nurse came up to him, asking about the accident.

"Excuse me, Sir? We need to know what happened with your wife."

_Your wife._ It was sounding in his head. She could be his wife. They could be together, have a bun of children. Wouldn't she have left five years ago?

"I-, I don't know it happened so fast-, she was... she was running out of the coffee shop and... and I tried to warn her, tried to stop her but the car was already so close and hit her."

He didn't make the effort to correct her, he just wanted everything to be right with Kate. Of course he was angry and mad with her, she hid his daughter from him for five years, but... she hid his _daughter,_ _her_ daughter from him. They had a daughter, together, he can't get the mother of his daughter hurt. What would happen if Kate died? His little girl couldn't lose her mother, she was only five years old, how would she be supposed to deal with that?

"Sir? Sir, we need her name."

"Oh, pardon! It's Beckett, Katherine Beckett." He answered the nurse, try to stay in focus on the situation. He needed to call her parents, tell them what happened and tell their daughter what happened.

He took his phone out of his pocket, looking for the number of Kate's old home, hoping her parents still lived there, still use this number.

After two rings he heard someone picking up the phone. Thank God they are still living there. His heart was beating so fast, he couldn't get enough air into his lungs as Kate's mother answered the phone.

"Beckett."

"Johanna? It's Rick, Rick Rodgers, well actually it's Castle now, but you probably know me as Rodgers. I changed my name some years ago and-" he was cut off by Johanna's voice.

"Rick, I know who you are, stop rambling." Johanna let out a light chuckle.

"Uhm... yeah I'm sorry. You, uh-, something happened and I don't know how to explain it, I just, I don't know how to tell you." He was rambling again. He was overwhelmed with feelings, hurt, worries, fear.

"Rick! What happened? Is Katie fine?"

He heard the worry in her voice, she knew something was wrong, something bad happened.

"Kate... Kate she... she... she had an accident. God I am so sorry. I upset her and she ran out of the coffee shop we've had met earlier that day. There was this car and she was standing there in the middle of the street and ... oh god. You need to come here, quickly!" The tears where now streaming down his face and he sunk on the floor.

"Rick, where are you? Where is my Katie?" Johanna was crying, he knew it, mentioned it in her voice. How could he explain that he was responsible for all this?

"We-, we're in the memorial hospital. You need to come here immediately and you need to take care of Phoebe, I don't know where she is or what she is doing, but she needs to be taken care of and I can't do anything for her, she doesn't know me, you- you need to get her."

"Phoebe is with me, we are on the way. We'll be right there. Katie is tough she will make it." Johanna was trying to be strong for him and even more for the small girl next to her.

Twenty minutes later, Rick saw Johanna and a little girl rushing in his direction. The girl has to be Phoebe, his daughter. She was so beautiful; she looked like her mother, the long brown curly hair falling down her shoulder, her beautiful face lighting up his world. She was so little though, his little beautiful girl, and this was the first time he got to see her.

"Rick" Johanna greeted him, when they reached him pulling him into a tight hug. She missed him, she knew he's a good guy, always wanted him as her son in law and still didn't give up her hope he would be it one day.

"Hello, Johanna. You didn't change even a bit." Always the charmer, wasn't he?

"Well, you did. You are even more handsome then five years ago." She smiled at him, she always thought Rick was really handsome and even told her daughter, that if she wouldn't take him she wouldn't mind him.(Was willst du mit dem vorherigen Satz ausdrücken? Der ergibt keinen Sinn!) He saw the fear in her eyes, noticed that she hid it because of her granddaughter. She had to be strong for her, she needed someone who would be strong for her.

"Johanna, we have enough time for jokes later, okay? You need to ask the doctors about Kate, I- I can't do it, I... I saw her laying on the ground. It was so surreal. She seemed so peaceful, without any emotions. Just her, sleeping on the ground. But there was that much blood, everywhere. All of the colors of her face where gone. White, she was so white!" the tears were slowly streaming down his cheeks, he couldn't handle the thought of Kate being hit by that damn car in front of his face. With every word he became more quieter "I should have stopped her, I shouldn't have let her run away, I shouldn't have shouted at her. God I am so stupid."

"Rick, calm down, this is not your fault. It's the car driver's fault. Katie is tough she can do this, she will get through this, _we_ will get through this." Tears were pulling into her eyes, she felt the little girl next to her pulling on her hand.

"Grammy, what's wrong?" the four years old looked sad and confused, she had no idea what's going on, who that man was, why her grandma was crying, what they were doing in the hospital. "Who is that man? Where is mommy? You said we were going to see mommy, I want mommy!" the small girl began crying while she was whispering all that to her Johanna. She was so confused. Nothing made sense.

"Hey, sweetie, everything is good, don't worry, we'll see mommy soon, okay?" Johanna bent down on her knees, pulling Phoebe into her chest.

"I think we should sit." Rick said sitting down on one of the chairs in the waiting room.

They were sitting there for minutes, hours, it felt like ages for Rick. He looked over to that small girl sitting on her grandma's lap, next to him, crying her eyes out. He felt so helpless, he wanted to hold her, tell her everything is going to be fine, that her mom will be fine. He wanted to tell her that he was her daddy, that he loved her and her mom did too, and that he would be there for her. He was worried, angry, hurt, he couldn't believe this was actually happening.

Five years ago, Kate and him were happy, they loved each other so much, spent every free second side by side, because if they didn't they would miss each other too much. She was his life, his soul, he loved her so much, he would have done everything for her. She was, and still is, the love of his life.

It hurt so much when he saw that note the day she left, he felt so betrayed, he didn't know what he did wrong, he felt empty, like she took his life with her. She took his heart with her, he gave it to her a long time ago and thought it was the right thing to do, falling in love with her. He wanted a family with her, he wanted everything with her. He wanted **her.**

He tried to call her, to get to talk to her, but her number didn't exist anymore. She just left, without an explanation, without anything but left a small note.

He wanted to be angry with her right now, but he couldn't, he saw her there lying on the ground without any movement. He was so worried, he didn't want her to die. Of course he wouldn't be able to forgive her yet, but he didn't want to lose her either, he couldn't lose the love of his life, the mother of his daughter, he just couldn't lose Kate.

Johanna went to the nurse station, trying to get some information about her daughter's condition. The nurse couldn't tell her anything new, she said she was still in surgery and that they had to wait for the doctor to come out and update her.

They were already sitting there for two hours, Phoebe getting more impatient every second waiting. She didn't really know what was going on, she was too young to understand but she knew something was wrong, something had changed and she wanted to see her mommy, NOW.

"Grammy, when are we going to see mommy?" Phoebe looked up at her grandma with those blue puppy eyes of hers.

"Soon, sweetie, very soon, we just have to wait a few more minutes, okay?" Johanna didn't know what she was supposed to tell Phoebe, how would you tell a five years old girl, that her mom was hit by a car and maybe dead? She already had to cope with her own fears. She was clueless how she would deal with fears of Pheobe's. The fears of a child that may will never see her mum again.

Rick lent over to the small girl, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. "Hey princess, why don't we go and have look for a hot chocolate for you and a coffee for your gram, huh?" his voice was soft, and quiet.

"Who are you?", the girl wanted to know.

She didn't understand why there's this unknown man. What he was doing here and why he also was waiting for some information about her mum.

"He is an old friend of your mother, sweetie. He is very nice, sometimes quiet stupid and very funny. You can go with him don't worry my heart, I know Rick really well.", Johanna explained to the young girl. She didn't want to scare her with telling her she was her father yet. It was her daughter's job to deal with it.

"Are you sure he is nice?" Phoebe had to make sure she wouldn't go away with a bad man.

"I am sure sweetie, go." Johanna putted her on her butt, giving her the sign to go.

"We'll be right back." Rick promised and took the girls hand in his.

Johanna stared after them. He would be a great dad, well he is a great dad. She was always against Katie giving up her relationship with him, going away and taking his child from him. She didn't understand why she would do that, he was such a sweet and nice guy, he loved her daughter even if he met her for the first time, Johanna knew that. She saw it in his eyes. He would have done everything for Kate. Every time when he looked at her she saw she was his life, and even now she saw this look. The one day years ago Kate told her he also was hers. Johanna never knew why Katherine would leave such a perfect guy. She always wanted her daughter to talk to him, hear what he had to say as well as he needed an explanation, otherwise Kate would lose the one man she would never forget, her soulmate, her love of her life and her daughters dad, but her daughter was stubborn. She didn't let anyone get close with her until Phoebe was born and after that she went down a rabbit hole and never came out again.

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